Note: I know the temple videos are painful to Mormons, and I want to acknowledge that. But I also want to have my pain acknowledged in return. And that hasn’t happened. What has happened is that people dismiss me, they call me names and try to slander my character. That’s not ok.
I want to talk about the temple ceremonies because I feel like I was being groomed by a manipulative organization to get me to obey them and to give them time, money, and children, and a huge part of that grooming process is the emphasis the church puts on having their members go through the temple. I deserve to talk about how that makes me feel, and part of helping people understand how I feel is explaining the context of the situation I am in, the context of what the temple really is and what it means in Mormonism.
I was being set up to go through the temple my whole life. All the lessons in young women’s about wearing all white. Primary songs like “I Love to See the Temple” and the ominous tune “Follow the Prophet” get stuck in my head TO THIS DAY and feel like complete brainwashing. I haven’t been able to get them out, but I’m working on it.
Accurate information can be stronger than brainwashing. Knowing what I know now about how sexist the ceremony is, and how demanding the church is (you promise to give everything to the church, not to God - see this link to watch the part of the temple where members promise to give everything to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: https://youtu.be/5VrsFEiTpsQ?t=3526).
I’m disgusted that throughout 20+ years being raised Mormon I wasn’t told about the aprons, the chanting, the secret handshakes, and the secret hand symbols. I can’t find it beautiful. I can’t feel that it’s sacred. The only thing I feel about it is that it's a form of manipulation, a type of hazing that gets people stuck even deeper in the cult that is Mormonism.
This is the same as the “secret combinations” Mormons are taught to abhor. It's ironic because the temple is supposed to be for "good guys", but in the BoM, these secret signs are something the "bad guys" use.
"And it came to pass that they did have their signs, yea, their secret signs, and their secret words; and this that they might distinguish a brother who had entered into the covenant." - Helaman 6:22, Book of Mormon
Even now that I realize the temple ceremonies are man-made, I have lingering hesitance to post videos like this. Even though I know that it’s just counterfeit Masonry in a building, that brainwashing still gets to me like the primary songs get to me.
I don’t want that to be the case. I want this all out in the open. I want all the ways that the church has tried to manipulate me to be exposed. I want to talk about the things I was told were sacred but were really just the church keeping secrets.
There's just so much brainwashing to unpack...